Not Ready Yet

I'm just not ready to go back to work. My tummy troubles are now pretty much nonexistent - thank God! The pain is the one thing I'm still having a hard time dealing with. I haven't made it to the point where it doesn't hurt more often than not. Hmm, that sentence is confusing. It's fair to say that it still hurts 95% of the time when I swallow. Now, it's not ungodly pain where I just want to keel over and die, but it does hurt. Shit, it hurts even when I don't swallow. I think I've done more talking today than I have in a long time. My absolutely awesome friend Jennifer came to visit me today (and bring me soup!), and we chatted it up for a few hours. After that I went and watched football with some friends, and did my fair share of talking there, too. The result - pain in my throat, neck, and ears. How am I ever going to make it through work? Granted, I think (or at least I hope) I'll be able to do other things that don't require that I be on the phones and talking, but I'll have to talk nonetheless...people have apparently missed me! And of course I do want to talk to them, it's just going to be rough and I'm nervous. Heck, right now if I want to talk to my mom I just call her and she answers the phone saying, "I'll go get on the computer" and we just message back and forth. And it's not just talking that has me nervous about work, it's being up and away from home for more than a few hours. Like when I was watching football today, I could feel myself start to fall asleep. And if I had, I don't think anyone would have cared - they probably would have just let me sleep, but that's me being tired and I was doing nothing but sitting on the couch and occasionally socializing. Guess we'll find out how tough I am on Tuesday. I think I'll have completely run out of sick and vacation time, so I kind of have to go back. Sigh....hopefully I'm worrying about nothing.