Probably Need Professional Help

I swear I do not know what the Hell is wrong with me. I had a dream last night that just makes no damn sense. I dreamt that I was terminally ill, and the hospital I was at let me leave so I could go home and die. Seriously!? Wth!? I remember being in the car on the ride home, depressed, looking out the window at the trees as we drove by. It was one of those dreams where I was seeing it in third person, like it was a movie. I saw myself with my head leaned against the window that showed the reflection of the trees. Really quite pretty if you could see what I was seeing. When we got home, which wasn't really my house, but more of a fancy cabin on a lake, I saw my mother. Someone started a campfire, and chairs were all around so everyone could sit around and hang out to help me enjoy my last night. At no time ever did I feel or look sick. I was upset though, I begged and pleaded with my mother to let me stay, that I wasn't ready to die yet. When I woke up from the dream I was so upset, all the fear and depression I felt in my dream was still with me. Looking back now though, shit, I deserve an Oscar. All of the pain and emotion, yeah, I would have wooed crowds. I don't have any clue where all those ideas came from. I can't think of any conversation I've had or any tv program I've seen that would make me think about dying and such. So weird....

So Dark

It's so hard to get a picture of him when he's such a pitch black kitten. Aw, but mommeh loves her little ninja kitten!

Bunco Night

Tonight our house hosted a Bunco group. I had to admit, it was fun, but I was beat. Have you ever played before? I hadn't, so I had to learn the rules, such as yelling "Bunco!" at the appropriate time, and snatching the dice when triples are rolled. My luck wasn't very good, and I ended up coming in last place. The cool thing is the person in last place gets their $5 back, so I ended up losing no money. Granted I didn't win any, but I didn't lose any! The part I didn't care for was the chit-chatting prior to play. It was more wedding talk! I swear as soon as it starts my eyes start to glass over. There was wedding talk for a little bit, table decorations and dress alterations. Thank goodness for pigs-in-a-blanket to snack on. And then later Valentine's Day was mentioned. I don't understand that day much either. And this isn't a single girl hating on Valentine's Day, even when I've been in relationships that I've hated on it. Don't get me wrong, I like the stuff associated with the day, a special sweet treat or a nice dinner, but that would mean a whole lot more if it was done spontaneously, and not when it's expected by society. Know what I mean?

Jump!

Wow I had such an awesome dream last night! It's kinda weird though, it's not the content of the dream that was so cool, it was more how I felt when I woke up, because I was in the best of moods. In my dream I was a reporter, and I was doing a story about soldiers that worked on a plane similar to a C-130. We discussed how supplies were dropped out of the plane. Next, the commanding officer and I talked about the troops jumping, and said it was possible for me to jump with them. It wasn't really jumping and parachuting down to the ground, though, it was more of jumping out of the plane on a long line, and trailing behind it. Like parasailing, only out the back of a plane. I was so excited, I suited up and got all of my gear on, and listened to the soldiers as he explained the process. After I was sure he was done talking, I shot him a huge grin and took of running to the back of the plane and jumped! And then I woke up. I was still filled with all of that excitement, it was so hard to go back to sleep. I just laid there and imagined what would be happening next.

Girly Girl

I tell you, there are times I feel like I just don't fit in with other girls. I like movies with guns, violence, and swearing. I'm not much into romantic comedies. Last year I saw "The Ugly Truth" and wanted to shoot myself. I found Katherine Heigl's character to be annoying rather than funny. The movie wasn't a fun experience for me. This Valentine's Day a new movie is coming out with a stellar cast...Bradley Cooper (hottie), Anne Hathaway (so beautiful), Jennifer Garner, Julia Roberts, Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, Topher Grace, Jaime Foxx, Patrick Dempsey, and the list goes on. Guess what the title of the movie is? "Valentine's Day" - you got it! I think the cast is awesome, I really do. But I have absolutely no desire to see it. None whatsoever. I'm hoping the Marrieds will go see it together and leave me out of it.

It's not just movies I don't like either...wedding talk bores the life out of me. Do I want to get married? Sure! Do I want a wedding? NO! I've been a bridesmaid in one wedding, and that was enough for me. To me it just seems like an assload of work and money for one day. One day that I've heard so many couples say that was just a blur. What's wrong with just getting dressed up and going to the courthouse? Then, if you want, throw a big damn party? Let's be honest, who really cares about the ceremony? I'm sure it's important to the bride and groom, and to their families, but who else cares? Most people just want the fun of the reception. Mighty nice invitation you sent out...really pretty. And into the trash it goes. And then there's the dresses. I'm not gonna make you wear some stupid dress for a few hours...one that you have to shell out some cash for and then never use again. Same for the bridal gown...though I will say, the brides who have trashed their dresses...I think that's pretty awesome. I'd be down with laying in some mud in that stark white gown!

But I Thought He Loved Me

Happy New Year

I've been quite slack about posting lately, I totally admit. And there has been stuff that I've wanted to talk about. I've just been lazy. And that's one of my goals for the new year...to be less lazy. I need to get more active. Another resolution, if you call it that, is to go out more with singles and less with the Marrieds. Nothing against them, don't get me wrong, but going out with them isn't going to get me any closer to being married, which I would one day like. So SingleGirl and I have decided that we need to go out the two of us, minus the marrieds, at least twice a month. Our intention is to out and meet other singles, and if by chance they happen to be men, that's great, and if by chance something more comes from it, that's great also.

I must say I'm glad I've met SingleGirl. I met her through GirlRoommate, and she's the first single friend that I've had in a long while. Plus we've got a lot in common! We're thinking about joining a gym. Planet Fitness actually. Anyone go there? Pros? Cons? I need to get more active. I did get a Wii Fit for Christmas. I'm hoping that having that fat little mii looking at me will help motivate me. Though shouldn't the chubby me in the mirror be doing that already?

Now that I'm actually taking the time to sit down and type I can't think of much that I've been wanting to talk about. I made it through an entire year without going on antibiotics. I must say, for me that is fucking amazing. Having my tonsils removed has definitely been one of the best decisions of my life. I hate it that I waited so long to have it done. The cat's doing well - love that little Marco. WOrk is work...what else can I say?

Happy New Year

I've been quite slack about posting lately, I totally admit. And there has been stuff that I've wanted to talk about. I've just been lazy. And that's one of my goals for the new year...to be less lazy. I need to get more active. Another resolution, if you call it that, is to go out more with singles and less with the Marrieds. Nothing against them, don't get me wrong, but going out with them isn't going to get me any closer to being married, which I would one day like. So SingleGirl and I have decided that we need to go out the two of us, minus the marrieds, at least twice a month. Our intention is to out and meet other singles, and if by chance they happen to be men, that's great, and if by chance something more comes from it, that's great also.

I must say I'm glad I've met SingleGirl. I met her through GirlRoommate, and she's the first single friend that I've had in a long while. Plus we've got a lot in common! We're thinking about joining a gym. Planet Fitness actually. Anyone go there? Pros? Cons? I need to get more active. I did get a Wii Fit for Christmas. I'm hoping that having that fat little mii looking at me will help motivate me. Though shouldn't the chubby me in the mirror be doing that already?

Now that I'm actually taking the time to sit down and type I can't think of much that I've been wanting to talk about. I made it through an entire year without going on antibiotics. I must say, for me that is fucking amazing. Having my tonsils removed has definitely been one of the best decisions of my life. I hate it that I waited so long to have it done. The cat's doing well - love that little Marco. WOrk is work...what else can I say?