Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Probably Need Professional Help

I swear I do not know what the Hell is wrong with me. I had a dream last night that just makes no damn sense. I dreamt that I was terminally ill, and the hospital I was at let me leave so I could go home and die. Seriously!? Wth!? I remember being in the car on the ride home, depressed, looking out the window at the trees as we drove by. It was one of those dreams where I was seeing it in third person, like it was a movie. I saw myself with my head leaned against the window that showed the reflection of the trees. Really quite pretty if you could see what I was seeing. When we got home, which wasn't really my house, but more of a fancy cabin on a lake, I saw my mother. Someone started a campfire, and chairs were all around so everyone could sit around and hang out to help me enjoy my last night. At no time ever did I feel or look sick. I was upset though, I begged and pleaded with my mother to let me stay, that I wasn't ready to die yet. When I woke up from the dream I was so upset, all the fear and depression I felt in my dream was still with me. Looking back now though, shit, I deserve an Oscar. All of the pain and emotion, yeah, I would have wooed crowds. I don't have any clue where all those ideas came from. I can't think of any conversation I've had or any tv program I've seen that would make me think about dying and such. So weird....

No comments: