I’m Not Your Bitch

Things have changed a lot at work since I was posting somewhat regularly. I no longer answer calls, instead I’m out doing field work. I like it so much better than being tethered to my desk. Before I started doing fieldwork fulltime, I was working two days a week under the tutelage of another coworker. This coworker is one of my two officemates. My other officemate does share this office, but does no fieldwork in this building. I think that’s the big reason why I worked so much with one guy over the other. BuildingBuddy would take me around showing me things, or he’d send me off on my own, saying he was there if I needed him. The building would eventually be divided between the two of us, and most of the work I did on my own was for the area I would one day cover. I’m not sure what OtherOfficemate thought was going on, but it certainly wasn’t BuildingBuddy sitting back and doing nothing while I went out and did everything. OtherOfficemate would throw out snide comments every now and then, “You done being BuildingBuddy’s bitch yet?” I honestly don’t think it was ever like that…like I was being taken advantage of and suckered into doing someone else’s work, at least not by him.

Around the same time that I started my fieldwork fulltime, OtherOfficemate was at his deadline for a couple of large projects, and he was not ready. Rather than asking me for help, he’d walk over and give me a few tasks to do. It really annoyed me that he wouldn’t even ask if I was busy with something else. Nope, he’d just walk over to my desk and tell me what to do. For as much as this annoyed me, it annoyed BuildingBuddy even more. I can understand why. Aside from the whole not-asking thing, BuildingBuddy knows I have a hard time saying no. “You’re too nice” he says. I told him that even if I said no, I didn’t want to be the new kid that wasn’t being a team player. Especially when our supervisor was well aware of the impending deadline and of the fact that shit wasn’t ready. BuildingBuddy was worried I was setting a bad precedent; if I didn’t stand up for myself Officemate would keep dumping stuff on me. I was hopeful (and stupid) to think that once the projects were done things would get better. Nope.

This morning I was balancing my checkbook while sitting at my desk. Yes, I do balance my checkbook, every month, to the penny. My mom made me do it when I was younger, and now I like doing it. I did have a few work-related things to do, but I admit, I took a minute out for me. I was having a hard time getting the numbers to balance, and I was grumbling aloud to myself. Officemate asked what was bugging me, and I told him that it was nothing big, just trying to get my checkbook straight (which I did). I guess he saw that as my being bored with no work, because a few minutes later he started telling me about the two upcoming tasks he has to do and which one he’d prefer me helping him with. BuildingBuddy could hear the conversation, and he started in on how I don’t need to do anyone else’s work, just my own. I appreciate him standing up for me, but at the same time, everyone shut up and leave me alone!

Hi

Hey little blog! I haven’t forgotten you. I just have that same debate over and over regarding your existence. Should I keep this thing going? Does anyone read it? Even if no one does, do I enjoying writing and posting? I think I do, and there have been plenty of times I’ve had stuff on my mind that I’ve wanted to get out but it hasn’t made it up here. For example….

Turning 32 has not been easy. I really feel like my birthday hit a few months ago and I’m no longer the same person. I feel old. I feel like I’m getting closer to death. I really feel like we spend more time breaking down than we do building up. I mean, what’s the average life expectancy of a US female? Ehh…depending on what you read it’s about 77 years (thank you Google). I’m not quite to the midpoint yet (not quite I said, I know I’m getting close), but I already feel like I’m falling apart. My hair is turning grey, and has been for a little while now. Though the funny thing about that is every now and then when I pull a loose hair off shirt or whatever it is a grey one haha! Or does that mean I’m going bald, too? My body feels old and achy. I have wrinkles, my metabolism is slowing. One foot in the grave I tell ya.

Anyways…joining the gym was a complete failure. I just didn’t feel comfortable going there, like the employees were so judgmental. I’m sure it’s just me overacting, being over sensitive, but still, it’s how I felt. As a result, I hardly went. I do have some inspiration to try and be active. Still playing soccer, and I want to run a 5k. I’ve been saying that for a while now. I have cousins that run. They’ve done 5ks & 10ks, and a few are going to even run in a warrior race, through mud and fire and stuff. Another is training for a triathlon. We’re all close in age - two of them are older, and one is younger. If they can do it, so can I. Well, maybe not the triathlon because I can’t really swim that well, and not the warrior race because I’d probably have a breakdown if my shoes got dirty, but running general, yeah, I should be able to do that. And I do on occasion, I just need to stick with it. Good grief I get distracted easily. What’s this? An invitation for margaritas? OK! I need to focus!

Speaking of focus, I really should do some work right about now…

I Have A Blog?

I forgot all about this thing. Goes to show you how much is going on that is worth discussing with the masses. As you were.

Pumping Iron

I joined a gym! Yeah, I’m shocked too – don’t feel bad for being surprised. I really hope this is something I stick with. Back in May I started taking golf lessons, and I’ve loved it. I’m actually frustrated that no one in my usual gang of friends can go play, for one reason or another (out of town, too hot, whatever). After I go to the driving range, I’m pumped, and I feel good about myself. I’m hoping the gym will be the same way.

I’m worried I won’t go because I’m distracted by other things. Soccer two nights a week, and I like to do something golf related once a week, whether it’s the driving range or an actual lesson with our instructor. What happens if I play soccer on Mondays, need a rest on Tuesday, and then play again on Wednesday? That leaves only Thursday through Sunday, days all clumped together. I’m sure I’m worrying about nothing. Right? I’m gonna be pumped, and I’m gonna be motivated, and dammit I’m gonna go!

Up Yours

So my roommate’s cat has pooping issues. I don’t know all of the technical terms and such. I do know the cat’s colon backs up with feces and she ends up getting constipated and eventually it is impossible for her to go to the bathroom. As a result, she’s taken to the vet to have the backup of feces removed. It’s hard on her system and may eventually play apart into her death. Not a happy story. It was decided, that as a preventative measure, maybe the cat should start receiving enemas. Yep, you read that right – an enema. Right now the plan is every two weeks, the cat gets stuff shoved up her rear.

Roommate’s job has made her familiar with enemas. Me, on the other hand, nope, had no idea. I’ll spare the details (unless you really want to hear them), but that poor kitty. We were warned that cat bites are very dangerous, and if you are bitten by a cat you should go for professional medical attention, and that, because of the bacteria in their mouth that is similar to e. coli, you’ll probably end up on antibiotics. Anyways, they put the kitty in a plastic cone collar, and then they put her in a kitty bag, recommending we get one. I say “we” because I’m the poor sucker meant to help with this. The bag is neat, it has the zipper on the top, so you drop the cat in, zip it up so only her head sticks out, and you’re set. You unzip a bit from the back end, but the arms and legs are stuck inside, so you don’t get clawed to death. Once the kitty was in the bag, we learned how to perform the procedure. The up-the-butt part is quick, and then the kitty gets to spend the night in the bathroom, with a litter box that she’ll hopefully use.

Yep, that was my Thursday night – jealous?

I Got A Snake Man!

So GuyRoommate and I get home from our soccer game and GirlRoommate rushes downstairs to meet us, telling us to head down to the basement, she has something to show us. Yep, a snake caught in the netting for her plants. At first we didn't realize how badly he was stuck. I thought he was just rolled up in the netting, but no, he had slithered through the actual holes in the net, trapping himself.

First GuyRoommate, before realizing how badly trapped the snake was, just tried to shake the netting to free him. Then after realizing he was trapped, GuyRoommate requested scissors. He made a few snips in the netting before wondering, what type of snake is this? Is he poisonous? I came inside and started to Google snakes. Then I decided to call one of my soccer teammates. Teammate is somewhat of a Renaissance man - he knows a bit about everything, including gardening and the like. He didn't answer, but his wife did. She's a country girl, so I explained our predicament. After chatting and web searching, we all agreed it was a rat snake. Not poisonous, but if he does bite you may feel a bit sick.

In the beginning, GuyRoommate did most of the work. He snipped away at the netting while GirlRoommate jumped and shrieked while I chatted on the phone. I don't know what possessed me, as I was terrified, but I decided I needed to help.

It's hard to tell, but in the bottom picture that's my bare hand using kitchen shears to cut away the net. At one point GuyRoommate asked why I was leaning over his leg to cut, and he laughed realizing it was my way of keeping something - anything - between me and that snake.

I was so worried I'd cut the snake. It was hard to slide the blade of the shears between the skin of the snake and the tight netting wrapped around his body. We did eventually free him of the vast majority of the netting. As best as I could tell, there was only one loop left on him when he slithered away.

For as scared as I was, I felt bad for the snake. He was trapped, and he would surely die if we didn't help him. As soon as I was finished, I turned to go back in the house, and I could feel tears welling in my eyes. I was so stressed, so scared, so nervous, and it was all finally over. I think I managed to safely remove the net without cutting the snake. As I was also happy that the few times I did jump, I didn't stab anyone (aka GuyRoommate) in the face with scissors.

** Oh how funny! Right before I hit publish on this, my cousin sent a picture of a snake that's been hanging out at his place. That guy even climbs brick walls! They named him Pete. I was gonna name our snake Pete!

***Oh, and another thing. We trimmed up the netting and swept up the mess we made, hoping that no other critters will become trapped. As I was taking out the trash, a roach ran past me. Really!? Haven't I been through enough?!

Feeling Used

I’m sure you know someone that’s a jerk. And you’ve come to accept it – that guy is a jerk. I have a friend like that…a very, very close friend. Best Guy Friend actually. He’s quite often a douche, but as I’ve gotten to know him, I know there’s a good guy underneath that douchey exterior. A caring, thoughtful person.

BGF and I play on an indoor soccer team together. Yeah, he can be a butt. He yells, a lot. And there are times I agree with what he says. Watch the middle of the field, why was that person left all alone standing in front of the goal one on one with our keeper. Quit fucking around with the ball, just shoot. He just says it in yelling. And some people are tired of it. What frustrates me is I think that he has valid points, maybe just not the best way of saying them. But when I’ve tried to politely say something, I get blown off. So why not yell? At least then you know the person’s listened to you enough to know what you’ve said.

I’ll admit I’m biased. Like I said, while I know he can be a jerk, I know there’s more to him. Anyways….sitting around after the game the other night I found out one of my current teammates, and a close friend of BGF’s, doesn’t want to play with him anymore. We talked about why. I felt defensive and protective of my friend, who wasn’t there to defend and protect himself. But I thought he had a right to know of our conversation, so I told him about it when I got home. As a result, he’s decided not to play after the next season. He said he doesn’t want to be the reason that people leave the team, so he’s going to do it.

I feel like this all stems from what I told him, and I feel like the conversation about BGF took place with the knowing that I’d go back and tell him about it. Don’t use me to do your dirty work because you don’t have the balls to do it yourself. I don’t understand though, yeah, BGF can be an ass, get over it. Just like it’s hot outside, you just deal with it. At least that’s my opinion. And someone who’s seen us play could say, sure, it’s easy for me to say all of this because I’m not the one getting yelled at. You forget, he’s my friend away from the team. So I hear about my screwups on the ride home. I hear about it on the way to our next game, and I hear about it many times in between. But guess what? I don’t give a fuck what he has to say. He dishes out some shit, and I fling it right back, and that’s when I choose to even pay attention.

I know I’m rambling, but I find this whole thing annoying. Got a problem? Either man up and say something or get over it. Sure, I realize there have been things I’ve whined about in the past where you could easily throw my words back at me, but dammit, if you’re not going to do something on your own, don’t use me as your little pawn.