I’m Not Your Bitch

Things have changed a lot at work since I was posting somewhat regularly. I no longer answer calls, instead I’m out doing field work. I like it so much better than being tethered to my desk. Before I started doing fieldwork fulltime, I was working two days a week under the tutelage of another coworker. This coworker is one of my two officemates. My other officemate does share this office, but does no fieldwork in this building. I think that’s the big reason why I worked so much with one guy over the other. BuildingBuddy would take me around showing me things, or he’d send me off on my own, saying he was there if I needed him. The building would eventually be divided between the two of us, and most of the work I did on my own was for the area I would one day cover. I’m not sure what OtherOfficemate thought was going on, but it certainly wasn’t BuildingBuddy sitting back and doing nothing while I went out and did everything. OtherOfficemate would throw out snide comments every now and then, “You done being BuildingBuddy’s bitch yet?” I honestly don’t think it was ever like that…like I was being taken advantage of and suckered into doing someone else’s work, at least not by him.

Around the same time that I started my fieldwork fulltime, OtherOfficemate was at his deadline for a couple of large projects, and he was not ready. Rather than asking me for help, he’d walk over and give me a few tasks to do. It really annoyed me that he wouldn’t even ask if I was busy with something else. Nope, he’d just walk over to my desk and tell me what to do. For as much as this annoyed me, it annoyed BuildingBuddy even more. I can understand why. Aside from the whole not-asking thing, BuildingBuddy knows I have a hard time saying no. “You’re too nice” he says. I told him that even if I said no, I didn’t want to be the new kid that wasn’t being a team player. Especially when our supervisor was well aware of the impending deadline and of the fact that shit wasn’t ready. BuildingBuddy was worried I was setting a bad precedent; if I didn’t stand up for myself Officemate would keep dumping stuff on me. I was hopeful (and stupid) to think that once the projects were done things would get better. Nope.

This morning I was balancing my checkbook while sitting at my desk. Yes, I do balance my checkbook, every month, to the penny. My mom made me do it when I was younger, and now I like doing it. I did have a few work-related things to do, but I admit, I took a minute out for me. I was having a hard time getting the numbers to balance, and I was grumbling aloud to myself. Officemate asked what was bugging me, and I told him that it was nothing big, just trying to get my checkbook straight (which I did). I guess he saw that as my being bored with no work, because a few minutes later he started telling me about the two upcoming tasks he has to do and which one he’d prefer me helping him with. BuildingBuddy could hear the conversation, and he started in on how I don’t need to do anyone else’s work, just my own. I appreciate him standing up for me, but at the same time, everyone shut up and leave me alone!

Hi

Hey little blog! I haven’t forgotten you. I just have that same debate over and over regarding your existence. Should I keep this thing going? Does anyone read it? Even if no one does, do I enjoying writing and posting? I think I do, and there have been plenty of times I’ve had stuff on my mind that I’ve wanted to get out but it hasn’t made it up here. For example….

Turning 32 has not been easy. I really feel like my birthday hit a few months ago and I’m no longer the same person. I feel old. I feel like I’m getting closer to death. I really feel like we spend more time breaking down than we do building up. I mean, what’s the average life expectancy of a US female? Ehh…depending on what you read it’s about 77 years (thank you Google). I’m not quite to the midpoint yet (not quite I said, I know I’m getting close), but I already feel like I’m falling apart. My hair is turning grey, and has been for a little while now. Though the funny thing about that is every now and then when I pull a loose hair off shirt or whatever it is a grey one haha! Or does that mean I’m going bald, too? My body feels old and achy. I have wrinkles, my metabolism is slowing. One foot in the grave I tell ya.

Anyways…joining the gym was a complete failure. I just didn’t feel comfortable going there, like the employees were so judgmental. I’m sure it’s just me overacting, being over sensitive, but still, it’s how I felt. As a result, I hardly went. I do have some inspiration to try and be active. Still playing soccer, and I want to run a 5k. I’ve been saying that for a while now. I have cousins that run. They’ve done 5ks & 10ks, and a few are going to even run in a warrior race, through mud and fire and stuff. Another is training for a triathlon. We’re all close in age - two of them are older, and one is younger. If they can do it, so can I. Well, maybe not the triathlon because I can’t really swim that well, and not the warrior race because I’d probably have a breakdown if my shoes got dirty, but running general, yeah, I should be able to do that. And I do on occasion, I just need to stick with it. Good grief I get distracted easily. What’s this? An invitation for margaritas? OK! I need to focus!

Speaking of focus, I really should do some work right about now…

I Have A Blog?

I forgot all about this thing. Goes to show you how much is going on that is worth discussing with the masses. As you were.