Hi

Hey little blog! I haven’t forgotten you. I just have that same debate over and over regarding your existence. Should I keep this thing going? Does anyone read it? Even if no one does, do I enjoying writing and posting? I think I do, and there have been plenty of times I’ve had stuff on my mind that I’ve wanted to get out but it hasn’t made it up here. For example….

Turning 32 has not been easy. I really feel like my birthday hit a few months ago and I’m no longer the same person. I feel old. I feel like I’m getting closer to death. I really feel like we spend more time breaking down than we do building up. I mean, what’s the average life expectancy of a US female? Ehh…depending on what you read it’s about 77 years (thank you Google). I’m not quite to the midpoint yet (not quite I said, I know I’m getting close), but I already feel like I’m falling apart. My hair is turning grey, and has been for a little while now. Though the funny thing about that is every now and then when I pull a loose hair off shirt or whatever it is a grey one haha! Or does that mean I’m going bald, too? My body feels old and achy. I have wrinkles, my metabolism is slowing. One foot in the grave I tell ya.

Anyways…joining the gym was a complete failure. I just didn’t feel comfortable going there, like the employees were so judgmental. I’m sure it’s just me overacting, being over sensitive, but still, it’s how I felt. As a result, I hardly went. I do have some inspiration to try and be active. Still playing soccer, and I want to run a 5k. I’ve been saying that for a while now. I have cousins that run. They’ve done 5ks & 10ks, and a few are going to even run in a warrior race, through mud and fire and stuff. Another is training for a triathlon. We’re all close in age - two of them are older, and one is younger. If they can do it, so can I. Well, maybe not the triathlon because I can’t really swim that well, and not the warrior race because I’d probably have a breakdown if my shoes got dirty, but running general, yeah, I should be able to do that. And I do on occasion, I just need to stick with it. Good grief I get distracted easily. What’s this? An invitation for margaritas? OK! I need to focus!

Speaking of focus, I really should do some work right about now…