A long time ago I did buy my own domain name, and it was avoidingreality.com, but I never did anything with it. I haven't even made the effort to see if the new owner has. Oh well....I debate over and over about continuing with this blog. I have absolutely nothing to talk about. My only drama is what I bothered to be bothered by. I don't have an adorable new son (holy crap that kid is cute). ANd well, only so many people want to hear about my adorable cat. My biggest problem right now is my new (hopefully) golf clubs are on back order.
The only thing that has really been weighing on my mind recently are my dreams. I've talked about them before, and more often that not even you can understand the absurdity of my dreams. Not long ago I dreamt about an alligator (crocodile, whatever) that was initially 2 feet long and grew to 6 feet long when approached. Not gonna happen....no reptile will start at 2 feet and unexpectedly grow to 6 feet just like that. Nope...not real.
But after that dream things took a turn for the....real?! The dreams I've had recently aren't so much dreams as they are hallucinations. When I wake up I struggle to determine if what just took place was all in my head, or was it real? The people and places are part of my every day life. I wake up not knowing if the feelings that I've expressed are the ones that I'm still struggling with, or are they ideas that I've finally found the courage to speak up about. Don't get me wrong...these "ideas", these "opinions" aren't earth shattering in the grand scheme of things, but they are things that weigh on my mind. And I have a hard time determining if I've finally found the voice to speak them.
But like I've said before, they aren't major things. Nothing that should cause for concern. They are just the drama that I make for myself....
Monday, May 31, 2010
Monday, April 26, 2010
Monday Funday
Well hello strangers! I've been slack about updating, but not a lot is going on that's really worth talking about, so I'll bore you. I've been taking a soccer skills camp on Friday nights. It's a lot of fun, and I am learning stuff, I just don't know how well I'll be able to apply the skills in a real game situation. I get too nervous knowing that someone far better than me is coming after the ball, so I'm in a hurry to get rid of it. I suppose if I practiced more on my own time I may feel differently. MOnday nights have been occupied with outdoor, and Wednesdays with indoor. I'm having fun, getting in some exercise.
My knee is still kind of bothering me, and I'm just not sure what to do. GuyRoommate says it's going to hurt, it's a knee injury - a part of your body you use all the time. GirlRoommate is more sympathetic. I fell at the end of February, and waited two weeks to go to the doctor. My first visit he said things would be a lot better in two weeks, and when I went back to see him, I agreed they were. Two more weeks and I should be back to normal. So it's been a month since then. He did say if I was still hurting to call back and request an MRI. I'm just not sure what to do. I'm not in constant pain, and I walk without a limp. I'm a lot better and using both legs to go up and down stairs. When I do feel pain, it isn't bad...more annoying than anything. But does it hurt because I did do more damage than we realize, or am I just taking a long time to heal? I wish someone could just say, this is normal. You're not a young girl any more and this will take time to get over. Or, it wasn't that serious of a tear, it should be better by now, you probably did fuck up your meniscus and you should get that MRI. I just hate the idea of spending all of that money when it might just be me being impatient.
And since my knee is bothering me I decided to sign up for golf lessons. Smart me! I'll have a busy week next week...outdoor soccer on Monday, golf on Tuesday, indoor soccer on Wednesday, nothing on Thursday, and soccer camp on Friday. You'd think with all of that soccer I'd have some skills! Yeah, you'd be wrong!
My knee is still kind of bothering me, and I'm just not sure what to do. GuyRoommate says it's going to hurt, it's a knee injury - a part of your body you use all the time. GirlRoommate is more sympathetic. I fell at the end of February, and waited two weeks to go to the doctor. My first visit he said things would be a lot better in two weeks, and when I went back to see him, I agreed they were. Two more weeks and I should be back to normal. So it's been a month since then. He did say if I was still hurting to call back and request an MRI. I'm just not sure what to do. I'm not in constant pain, and I walk without a limp. I'm a lot better and using both legs to go up and down stairs. When I do feel pain, it isn't bad...more annoying than anything. But does it hurt because I did do more damage than we realize, or am I just taking a long time to heal? I wish someone could just say, this is normal. You're not a young girl any more and this will take time to get over. Or, it wasn't that serious of a tear, it should be better by now, you probably did fuck up your meniscus and you should get that MRI. I just hate the idea of spending all of that money when it might just be me being impatient.
And since my knee is bothering me I decided to sign up for golf lessons. Smart me! I'll have a busy week next week...outdoor soccer on Monday, golf on Tuesday, indoor soccer on Wednesday, nothing on Thursday, and soccer camp on Friday. You'd think with all of that soccer I'd have some skills! Yeah, you'd be wrong!
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Cheese With That Whine?
Today at work I started a blog entry, and the whole point of it was going to be how I’m still alive, but nothing important or notable has happened, blah blah blah. And then the shit at work started. A coworker of mine used some incorrect terminology in an email. He stated that something was our “policy” but fact of the matter is, it is not policy. His supervisor was griping about the situation, and I used at as an opportunity to address something that bothers me – a lack of communication. I informed the supervisor that I also thought it was policy, and how I thought situations such as these could be avoided if there was better communication. I was interrupted by a phone call, and when I was finished the supervisor jumped on me. “Where is it stated that that’s our policy? Where? Show me? If you’re going to say it is, then prove it in writing.” I told him I had no problem in saying I was wrong, and that I can’t back it up with print, but it was something I had heard, and I was wrong. No problem saying I’m wrong. Know who has 2 thumbs and is wrong? This girl!
But I continued on how things happen without everyone knowing. Wait…not EVERYONE knowing…the people involved knowing. For example, an upgrade is being pushed out to certain employees, and if they miss the upgrade because their pc was off of if they have a laptop and it was out of the building during the time of the upgrade, then they should call my team to arrange to get the upgrade. The upgrade is slowing rolling out, so if someone calls asking for it prior to their scheduled time, we tell them to wait. A user called and said she wanted the upgrade, and I told her she’d have to wait until her group was upgraded, and she politely states that she got an email saying she should call me. In this case, she had a legitimate reason to call. She was part of a group that was upgraded…that would have been nice for me to know. Then, rather than trying to figure out what the hell she’s talking about – what email?! – I could have just given her the upgrade. Why was I the last to know?
I suppose it bothers me so much because I find it embarrassing. Why should someone else, in another department, know more about my job function than I do. And it happens constantly! My team’s name and number is dropped all the time for help with issues, but we never get a heads up. Why is it so hard to tell us?
It also drives me nuts that these things happen over and over. A coworker asked why it bothered me so much. We’re peons, we don’t have much say. Life isn’t fair, shit happens all the time. So I should settle? Just let it roll off of my back? I can’t argue with the fact that there are just some things you can’t change, but I don’t see why my requests are so unreasonable.
But I continued on how things happen without everyone knowing. Wait…not EVERYONE knowing…the people involved knowing. For example, an upgrade is being pushed out to certain employees, and if they miss the upgrade because their pc was off of if they have a laptop and it was out of the building during the time of the upgrade, then they should call my team to arrange to get the upgrade. The upgrade is slowing rolling out, so if someone calls asking for it prior to their scheduled time, we tell them to wait. A user called and said she wanted the upgrade, and I told her she’d have to wait until her group was upgraded, and she politely states that she got an email saying she should call me. In this case, she had a legitimate reason to call. She was part of a group that was upgraded…that would have been nice for me to know. Then, rather than trying to figure out what the hell she’s talking about – what email?! – I could have just given her the upgrade. Why was I the last to know?
I suppose it bothers me so much because I find it embarrassing. Why should someone else, in another department, know more about my job function than I do. And it happens constantly! My team’s name and number is dropped all the time for help with issues, but we never get a heads up. Why is it so hard to tell us?
It also drives me nuts that these things happen over and over. A coworker asked why it bothered me so much. We’re peons, we don’t have much say. Life isn’t fair, shit happens all the time. So I should settle? Just let it roll off of my back? I can’t argue with the fact that there are just some things you can’t change, but I don’t see why my requests are so unreasonable.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Pissy Mood
I haven't bitched on here in awhile, and I'm sure you've missed it, so here it goes. Today wasn't a great day at work. We're implementing a new timesheet process soon, and right now it's in the testing phase, and it has been a complete and utter disaster. System errors, user errors, fluke incidents, it's all there. And it's mess. I myself have very little to do with the new system. My involvement is limited to me being a middleman for users and the solutions to their problems. Even though I'm nothing but a middleman, I've been one ridiculously busy person. The two days we've had of testing have been awful, and I'm trying to prepare myself for another busy day tomorrow. The day is going to suck ass and I am just not ready for it.
The thing that really peeves me is I spend my day taking a beating. I do it from 8:00 - 5:00, and whether or not I can squeeze in a lunchbreak it doesn't matter, I'm still there at 8:00 and I can leave at 5:00. Other workers in my area have the luxury of not following such a formal schedule. It just burns me up that I spend my day taking it in the ass and those guys float in and out at whatever hours they choose, and in the end they get paid for "working" the same hours as me, even if they were only there for 2/3 or 3/4 of the time. They come in late, leave early, and have a nice relaxing hour, hour and a half lunchbreak. Sure, you can attribute this to jealousy, but what about fairness? All of these people make more than me. Where's my compensation? Especially when we "work" the same hours?
The thing that really peeves me is I spend my day taking a beating. I do it from 8:00 - 5:00, and whether or not I can squeeze in a lunchbreak it doesn't matter, I'm still there at 8:00 and I can leave at 5:00. Other workers in my area have the luxury of not following such a formal schedule. It just burns me up that I spend my day taking it in the ass and those guys float in and out at whatever hours they choose, and in the end they get paid for "working" the same hours as me, even if they were only there for 2/3 or 3/4 of the time. They come in late, leave early, and have a nice relaxing hour, hour and a half lunchbreak. Sure, you can attribute this to jealousy, but what about fairness? All of these people make more than me. Where's my compensation? Especially when we "work" the same hours?
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Restless
If my knee doesn't stop hurting soon I'm going to go bananas. The weather's been so pretty lately and I haven't been able to take advantage of it. My knee is starting to feel better, but I'm impatient. I want normal. I've never had a real injury, and it's driving me nuts. I want to go out for a walk/run. When the weather's nice I spend my lunchbreak roaming around downtown. My job is mind numbingly boring - I need the change of scenery. I've realized I don't listen to my callers much...I've already figured out the problem and I'm just waiting for them to quit babbling so I can fix it.
The knee problem has made for rough nights as well. Like I don't have enough sleep issues. I think I have restless legs. In the evenings or laying in bed I can feel them twitching. Working out does make them feel better. My mom also told me that doing wall sits will help, and they do help, when I can actually do them. Sigh...bitch bitch bitch...
The knee problem has made for rough nights as well. Like I don't have enough sleep issues. I think I have restless legs. In the evenings or laying in bed I can feel them twitching. Working out does make them feel better. My mom also told me that doing wall sits will help, and they do help, when I can actually do them. Sigh...bitch bitch bitch...
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Stoopid Knee
So a couple of weeks ago a crowd of us went up to Snowshoe, WV, for some skiing. I took a little spill, and since then, my left knee hasn't been very happy. When I fell, I managed to leave my feet flat on the ground and aimed downhill as I slid on my back. Finally, my left ski caught an edge and my leg bent behind me. I've never felt pain like that...holy shit it hurt.
There was some serious swelling and pain, and the general consensus was that I hurt my MCL. BGF said it, and so did the part-time EMS worker that I know at work. He also suggested it was possible that I tore my meniscus, but wasn't sure. I asked those guys if they thought the fall warranted a trip to the doctor, and everyone agreed that I should give it some time, so I did.
Fast forward exactly two weeks and I'm in the doctor's office. The swelling has gone down, but there's still some there. I do still feel some pain. The big thing I wanted to know was if things were healing ok, and when can I start playing soccer again. I have a hard enough time keeping my weight under control when I'm moving around, I surely can't do it when I can't exercise!
I went to an orthopedic specialist that deals with Sports Medicine. He said in an effort to save time and money, we'd skip taking x-rays and an MRI. He could say with certainty that the guys were correct, I did tear my MCL. He's not sure about my meniscus. It's possible that it is torn, but his thinking is to try and see how a brace will help things. If it's just my MCL I'll be fine. If there is a problem with the meniscus, the damage is already done and it can't get worse, but based on our conversation he doesn't think the meniscus will be an issue. Yay!
There was some serious swelling and pain, and the general consensus was that I hurt my MCL. BGF said it, and so did the part-time EMS worker that I know at work. He also suggested it was possible that I tore my meniscus, but wasn't sure. I asked those guys if they thought the fall warranted a trip to the doctor, and everyone agreed that I should give it some time, so I did.
Fast forward exactly two weeks and I'm in the doctor's office. The swelling has gone down, but there's still some there. I do still feel some pain. The big thing I wanted to know was if things were healing ok, and when can I start playing soccer again. I have a hard enough time keeping my weight under control when I'm moving around, I surely can't do it when I can't exercise!
I went to an orthopedic specialist that deals with Sports Medicine. He said in an effort to save time and money, we'd skip taking x-rays and an MRI. He could say with certainty that the guys were correct, I did tear my MCL. He's not sure about my meniscus. It's possible that it is torn, but his thinking is to try and see how a brace will help things. If it's just my MCL I'll be fine. If there is a problem with the meniscus, the damage is already done and it can't get worse, but based on our conversation he doesn't think the meniscus will be an issue. Yay!
Monday, March 8, 2010
Internal?!
A possible TMI post. About girly business. For awhile now my period's been acting odd, and I finally had enough. I made an appointment to visit my OB/GYN, and after the usual checkup she decided it would be a good idea to do an ultrasound. I had never had one before, but I've seen plenty on tv. I was escorted to my exam room, after emptying my bladder (why do they insist on using that phrase, is it really necessary?), and once inside the tech told me she'd be performing an internal ultrasound and I needed to undress from the waist down. She left the room for me to undress, and when she returned, I asked, "did you say 'internal'?" Yep, that's what she said...you can see things better.
Now when my doctor said "ultrasound" I imagined what I would assume most people would - the tech squirting some gel on a instrument, and then running it over my belly. Yeah...no. The instrument looked like a large vibrator, to which she applied the gel and placed between my legs. Now, that device never actually entered my body, but I seriously thought she was going to jab a hole in me. I had no idea they did ultrasounds like that. However I was later informed that if you're pregnant it'll happen that way. Another reason for me not to have kids!
The good news is, after that uncomfortable experience, that everything checked out just fine!
Now when my doctor said "ultrasound" I imagined what I would assume most people would - the tech squirting some gel on a instrument, and then running it over my belly. Yeah...no. The instrument looked like a large vibrator, to which she applied the gel and placed between my legs. Now, that device never actually entered my body, but I seriously thought she was going to jab a hole in me. I had no idea they did ultrasounds like that. However I was later informed that if you're pregnant it'll happen that way. Another reason for me not to have kids!
The good news is, after that uncomfortable experience, that everything checked out just fine!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)