On My Mind

I've read before that your dreams are your body's way of processing short-term memories into long-term memories, and I've said before that I can see that in my dreams. Things that have recently taken place in my life show up in my dreams. Lately the topic of my dreams has been my bathroom, and I can explain why. One day I was flushing the toilet in my bathroom and I noticed water running down from the handle. Later, upon further inspection, I realized that the water wasn't coming from the handle, it was running down from the lid. I took the top off of the tank and flushed, and I noticed that the top of the fill valve was squirting water up like a geyser - not cool. I went to Lowes, described my problem, and walked out with a new fill valve. One of BGF's handy friends change the part for me. He had never done it before, but he changed that piece in no time, and did it perfectly. And yet, for some reason, I was paranoid something was wrong. Or maybe is wrong? I've still kept my eye on it, but there's definitely no more water spraying. So why do my dreams constantly revolve around that toilet and leaks? I dream that the it leaks so badly that the floor beneath is rots and caves, that my shower tiles fall off of a crumbling wall. Why!? It's fixed! Stop thinking about it. Stupid brain, shut up and let me sleep in peace! Though I will admit, if I wake up and don't remember my dreams, that feels more strange that having these stupid dreams.

I've had some other stuff on my mind, and I've tried a few times to sit down and write about it, but my frustrations get the better of me and I end up with nonsensical tirades that even annoy me to read, and I know what I'm talking about. Let's say management at work sure knows how to destroy morale. A person very dear to me decided to destroy every bit of self-esteem I have during an intimate moment. I've poorly managed my finances lately. Everything's related, intertwined, and I know I need to work it all out, but I've become my own enemy in dealing with all of this. At the moment I don't know how to fix this, and I'm having a hard time talking it out. Very aggravating.