Play?

Last night I went and watched BGF's outdoor soccer game by myself. I went up into the stands and sat with the mother of the girl that plays on and organized the team. Girl's mom asked me if how I knew one of the players (ok really she asked me if I was his wife...hahahhahaha nope), so I explained that BGF and I met through work, and then that he and I and my supposed hubby all play indoor soccer together. Girl's Mom then asked why I wasn't playing outdoor. I explained BGF's reasoning (the big field, slow me) and Girl's mom said what I've heard quite a few times...isn't something better than nothing. I tried to change the subject, but it came up a few more times. It also came up after the game ended, when the mother suggested to Girl that I be asked to play. Girl looked at BGF in shock - it's not like he hasn't been aware of the problem of having no female subs and well shit, not even enough to play full strength!

Anyways, he shot me a look and quietly said, "I'm just trying to protect your feelings." My angry response? "Fuck you." Now that wasn't very nice of me, I know. So I didn't get an explanation of that until today. He's worried that I'll go out there, not do well, and give up. But maybe if I work on things in my own time I'd improve, and then when I did get to play I'd have more fun. The argument was even presented to him that how discouraging must it be for me not to even get the chance. And it is...it's nice to know that having nothing is better than having me.